Sometimes I feel like my depression just
consumes me completely, and I wouldn’t understand where it came from, it
swallows me whole and drowns me in self-doubt then it strangles me with
poisonous thoughts and convinces me that I’m unworthy of love and sometimes
even life. I know that depression would convince my body, my mind and my soul
and deep down into the very core continuously that everything is wrong!
Depression steals my passion and takes
away my courage to love. It leaves me stranded all alone, feeling like a mess
whose only contribution to the world is sadness, it swallows me and consumes me
and then it makes me believe that I will never be happy again. Even after reminding
myself again and again that I am just human being. A human being who has made
someone smile and laugh and even feel. I’ve impacted people with this smile.
I am being reminded countlessly that I’m
a friend who is needed, a person who is always there, a person who can
understand something as devastating as depression. I am powerful and
compassionate, caring and beautiful and one of a kind. But I’m sorry, on most
days, depression just eats up inside of me no matter how incredibly strong I am,
because I would get to the type of lowness that left me utterly broken and
defeated.
But I would still be here, and I would
still be fighting. I am a warrior who fights my daily battle within myself and
survived every single day. I am a survivor, a human who has felt pure emptiness
and lived through it.