It would really help in taking off some pressure in the situation, it might possibly make me less nervous.
I keep backing out at the last second because it scares me too much. There are
a million things that I want to chat with you, but I’m not sure whether you
would be up for a chat! This is why you will never get a text from me first; I’m
afraid that I convey the wrong message and ruin the friendship. I would then check
on my phone back and forth to see if I didn’t get an instant reply from you. I
curse myself for bothering someone so much that I should not have send a text
in the first place.
But I’ve been dying to talk to
you, to tell you that I really miss those constant conversation we had
throughout the holidays, those little jokes and laughter we shared even though we
were still strangers. I am not sure if my nervousness is a sign I should leave –
or a sign communicating with you means a lot to me. I can’t decide if I should
stop waiting for a text or stop letting my fears control me and let the story
rolls on it own. I can’t decide, because
my heart is not one thing that make right decisions always.