I am
starting to wonder if choosing someone I love more than he loves me is the
right choice. That even I fell hard from the very beginning, you were
someone toxic to begin with. You disrespect me in more ways than I could count,
that you were wrong for me, but I still decide to pour my heart in just so that
I know I could feel something than to go numb. I spend so much time convincing
myself to give you one more chance, yet another chance. I spend the nights
fighting against fate to give myself a chance to love right.
I
tried so hard to hint my feel. I tried so hard to express them thoroughly. I tried
so hard to be someone you could at least love and respect. I spend the time
turning a blind eye to how destructive you were to me. I wanted you to be the
one at the end of the day that I have continuously ignored the warning voice in
my head telling me what a bad idea you were. Even when we were together,
our inevitable end seemed to be dawning near with each passing day.
I
cannot keep voicing out on the basic respect of human being. I don’t know how
many more dates I can withstand, because with you I became another version of
myself that focuses on the bad. I tried to focus on your good, I was too
absorbed in the idea of us but I am also a woman who knows my worth. I am a woman
who would not tolerate man who disrespect woman in any way. I may be greatly in
love with you, but I learned the hard way that loving myself is more
important than being in a relationship that takes away that.