I
was never the person you would discuss the future with. I was never the person
you talk to when you’re down. I was never the person you trust. I was never
a priority in your life. I knew from the very beginning that you would never love me
like I love you, yet I was naïve enough to think that I could at least be
treated as a priority in our relationship.
I
tried. And all you did was put me as an afterthought. I was excited to share my
life with you, I let you into my room, I share my past with you, I let you tag
along my favorite activities, I look forward for the little trips, the little
milestones we achieved, birthdays; and I guess that was the problem, you were
never excited over us. I know it wouldn’t be fair to say that you didn’t care
about me, but you just didn’t trust me enough as your life partner to discuss
or plan ahead.
I’ve
always been here, even when you’re not. But you chose to walk away. You
walked away from something that could have been so good. You walked away from
something that could have been god damn beautiful. You walked away from a love
that could have been so headstrong. I am not blaming you for anything, because
for anything I blame, I blame myself. I blame myself for not being able
to share my life experiences with my partner, I blame myself for not being
interesting enough for someone to pay attention to, I blame myself for not
being a safe place for someone to put their trust in.
Maybe
after all this time, I was wrong to convince myself to get into a relationship
all over again only to let someone hurt me. But darling, know that if I were to
choose all over again, I’d still fall for you because fuck it, my heart never
gave me an option, it just fell hard! I never doubted my love, I just wish
I could be a priority than an afterthought.