The Goal Is Not Marriage. The Goal Is Happiness.

 

Somewhere along the way, we’ve been taught that marriage is the final destination. That if you’re not married by a certain age, something is wrong with you. That love has a deadline. That joy has an expiration date. The pressure is real – society says you’re supposed to hit all the checkboxes or risk being left behind. So, we start to chase love like it’s a timeline, not a feeling. And in that process, we often forget to ask the most important question: Will this make me happy?

As I go on my dates, I notice that many people aren’t looking for love that’s real, they’re looking for love that’s “on time”. They want the ring, but not the hard conversations. The wedding, but not the work. They fear choosing the wrong person – but they forget to focus on becoming the right one. And that’s something I’ve had to unlearn myself. I’ve been in relationships. I’ve been hurt. I’ve made mistakes. And through all of that, I finally understood: We don’t attract what we want; we attract what we are.

Yes, I want love. But more than that – I want to love right. I want a love that’s rooted in mutual growth, in understanding, in choosing each other again and again – not because we have to, but because we want to. That’s why every day, I just try to be a little better than who I was yesterday. I speak more kindly to myself, I learn to rest without guilt, I forgive the parts of me that once felt unworthy. And in doing so, I know that I’m becoming the version of me who is ready – not for a checklist, but for a connection that feels divine.

Maybe it sounds idealistic. Maybe it sounds slow. But I trust the universe. I believe that my divine soulmate – the one who sees me, holds me, respects me – is walking his path, just as I am walking mine. And when we meet, it won’t feel rushed. It’ll feel right. So, no – my goal isn’t marriage. My goal is happiness. My goal is love that feels like peace, like home, like choosing each other in a thousand quiet, consistent ways. Because I believe when you become the love, that love finds its way to you.