The Truth Behind Toughness

I thought I had a celebrity crush on Harvey Specter. From the very first episode of Suits, I was drawn to his charisma, his confidence, the way he carried himself with so much certainty and power. I admired his success, his sharpness, his presence – and I never really questioned why. It just felt like a fun crush on a fictional character. But it wasn’t until halfway through Season 5, when Donna left him and everything he’d been holding in started to crack, that I began to see it differently. That was when I realized I didn’t just like him – I saw myself in him.

Harvey was strong, successful, admired. But underneath it all, he was afraid of being vulnerable. He acted like nothing could break him, stayed composed, sharp, in control. Even when he finally went for therapy, he still carried himself like something who couldn’t afford to fall apart. And that’s when it hit me, maybe I’ve been doing the same thing. I’ve always moved through life holding myself together. Showing up, ticking boxes, being there for everyone.

Not because I had everything figured out, but because I didn’t know how to let my guard down. It’s easier to look strong than to explain the kind of tiredness you can’t put into words. The kind that settles in your chest when you’re holding in too much for too long. Harvey kept going. So did I. He didn’t have the luxury to fall apart, he quietly held his pieces together. So did I. And maybe that’s what real strength looks like. Not the loud victories, but the quiet, private endurance. The kind that no one claps for, but that keeps you standing.

I’m slowly learning how to be softer with myself too.