I remember
watching a YouTube video that Dove has recorded, they interviewed a set of
children and adults on “Given a chance to change one thing about your body, what
would it be?”, all the adults came with their eyes, nose, breast, buttocks,
etc; however, when it comes to the children, they pause for a long time and shrud
their shoulder and answered “don’t know”. As a child, you are satisfied with
everything, you like everything around you, same goes with my childhood, I
enjoyed everything about my childhood.
Like really, I
never doubted that! I had the freedom to cycle in the evening anywhere, everywhere
without being controlled, because if I am growing up now, my parents would
definitely forbid me to do so due to the public safety. Not that the public
safety back then was okay, heck it just got worse as I grew up.
Back to the topic,
when I first read through the question, I thought to myself, it could probably
be being the single child, but as I screened through my mind about my childhood
I find most of the laughing moments were with my siblings. We fought, but I was
more of the peace person, I hardly interfere in those fights, peace went away
as we grow up. Then I thought again, I always had this childhood wish that
nobody knows.
I wish I could be
brought up in Singapore, and go to normal school. To kick-start a little, I was
brought up in Malaysia and was home-schooled for the rest of my high school,
spend the first three years of my elementary education in some private Malay
school, follow by an International school for another three years, then home
school center for another three years and finally got withdrawn out of school
entirely and studied at home.
I grew up in the
90s, there wasn’t Facebook and/or mobile phone back then, at least not for
children who are still in elementary or high school. So everytime I change a
school, I lose all the contacts with my classmates and friends in that specific
school. We could probably get phone numbers and/or write letters however, each
time I was being withdrawn from the school my mum announce to the world that
“we’re going back to Singapore”. As a blur child, I just said bye took some
pictures and transferred along to the next. You must agree that my siblings and
I have very good adapting skills!
So after being
kicked around for education, I never really master a subject, though, each
school goes through the basic subjects; English, Mathematics, Geography,
Science and at one point of the school, there’s Bible studies! As I was brought
up all around the places, I never really liked studying, this is why I didn’t
further pursue a degree after my college. I graduated college being
anti-social, enter the society being anti-social.
Besides of turning
out to be anti-social, I never had the sense of belonging throughout my whole
life, when we grew up in Malaysia, people say we’re a foreigner and when we go
back to Singapore, my relatives call us Malaysian because we did not know any
culture of Singapore, not even the national anthem. Therefore, throughout my
life, I’ve been searching for a sense of belonging, I’ve been trying to know
who I am, what am I put on earth for, what are my purpose? I stop finding one
day, I stop finding because I knew all these are all fated to be and you can’t
change it.
Getting back to
the topic, with the unique way of being brought up, there’s actually alot of
things that I know that I dislike, and if I wake up one morning and realize my
life was just a dream, I will walk a different path, I will walk the path
everyone has walk. But for now, I am still just grateful on how my parents
struggle to brought us up, even though I might be just the easiest kid to
raise, they have juggled both the career and our childhood in quite a balance
way.
I’m proud to say, I’ve
had one of the most wonderful childhood.