You first met on a dating website, and notice him mostly because he has been sending a few standard questions to you online. He isn’t photogenic, he isn’t the one that catches my attention, but for some reason, you crack the user to his Facebook, so you added him, mostly just to get a closer look.
The following day, he has accepted the friend request you has unlocked from his online username and replied you on the private message and we started chatting. After a few conversations, you discover we stay in the same neighborhood, which we both agree is such a small world, because we have never met.
You wonder why life brings him into your life, because you would have had never meet him ever. He mention that he is from the neighborhood school, but I told him he would probably have never met me before because I just move into this neighborhood 5 years back and was home-schooled throughout my secondary school life. While you roll a joint he asks about you and your life. Really asks, with a curious glimmer in his conversation. You quickly become self-conscious about your answers because they sound uninteresting when they leave your messages, but he still seems interested. He asks follow-up questions. You begin internally recalling and comparing previous conversations with possible romantic interests, but none seem as effortless as this one.
When you wake up you check your tablet and are amazed that there’s a Good Morning text, it seems like it was almost 2 years since you’ve received a Good Morning text. The conversation went on throughout the day and night. He has decided to bypass the modern societal norms of abstaining from contact to increase interest, which somehow causes your interest to increase even more. You discover that you’ve fell somewhere in between those conversation.
He patiently waited for a few weeks after we converse to date me out, because I’ve to be on work even during the weekend. You chatted day and night but somehow the chat just got lesser, but there’s still a few conversations being exchange during the night. Your daily goal is to wait for his reply, to wait for his assurance, you are guessing he’s not interested, but it was too late to know.
Days and weeks go by, here we are entering into the New Year, and ever since you’ve spend every single second of yours thinking about him. You don’t text each other because he seems to be replying less, the good morning texts are not frequent anymore, and sometimes the response goes up to days. You start to browse his profile on Facebook to see what’s going on in his life. A part of me is already missing him, but he seems to be online most of the time, so you know he is okay. You feel yourself migrating into a familiar cycle of self-depreciation. You wonder what you did that caused him to walk away. Luckily due to experiencing this before, you know that relentless efforts to find out the problem will only hinder, so you choose, for the most part, to try and move on. You spend most of your time alone. You still check on your messages occasionally, you try not to log into his profile online, you try to let other things occupied you. You try to let others inside you. A doctor, a business owner, a different lawyer, but their conversation doesn’t fit in the right words. They cling loosely, grasping at something that isn’t there.
Time passes, he seems to have changed his job. He seems to like his new job, it seems like he has not thought of you ever. But you know better than that. You know that if someone wants to do something, they will, and if they don’t, they will not. You would give anything to know what made him stop wanting you.
You try to forget all the dates, all those little conversations, all those hangout.
You try to forget how it all started with that hello hello.
You try to forget how he tries to assure you with his manly convo.
You try to forget the way he looked at you. You try to forget the things he said.
One day you just stop texting him asking him how’s life. One day you just stop wishing he’s going to be the one.
You feel furious that he could be so casual when you spent every second thinking about him. You decide to cut him out of your life. You unfollow him on social networks. You delete those old conversations so you wouldn’t reread them. You delete his account. You stop wishing.
More times passes as life roll on. You drown your head into work, meet more new people, enter into the New Year again, you barely think about him. Being drown into time reminds you that there’s still other beautiful and interesting thing in life. It reminds you that one person can never be your only source of happiness.
You forget about him completely, until last night you drove pass the lane of his house. You stop for a moment, let out a laugh and keep driving.
The following day, he has accepted the friend request you has unlocked from his online username and replied you on the private message and we started chatting. After a few conversations, you discover we stay in the same neighborhood, which we both agree is such a small world, because we have never met.
You wonder why life brings him into your life, because you would have had never meet him ever. He mention that he is from the neighborhood school, but I told him he would probably have never met me before because I just move into this neighborhood 5 years back and was home-schooled throughout my secondary school life. While you roll a joint he asks about you and your life. Really asks, with a curious glimmer in his conversation. You quickly become self-conscious about your answers because they sound uninteresting when they leave your messages, but he still seems interested. He asks follow-up questions. You begin internally recalling and comparing previous conversations with possible romantic interests, but none seem as effortless as this one.
When you wake up you check your tablet and are amazed that there’s a Good Morning text, it seems like it was almost 2 years since you’ve received a Good Morning text. The conversation went on throughout the day and night. He has decided to bypass the modern societal norms of abstaining from contact to increase interest, which somehow causes your interest to increase even more. You discover that you’ve fell somewhere in between those conversation.
He patiently waited for a few weeks after we converse to date me out, because I’ve to be on work even during the weekend. You chatted day and night but somehow the chat just got lesser, but there’s still a few conversations being exchange during the night. Your daily goal is to wait for his reply, to wait for his assurance, you are guessing he’s not interested, but it was too late to know.
Days and weeks go by, here we are entering into the New Year, and ever since you’ve spend every single second of yours thinking about him. You don’t text each other because he seems to be replying less, the good morning texts are not frequent anymore, and sometimes the response goes up to days. You start to browse his profile on Facebook to see what’s going on in his life. A part of me is already missing him, but he seems to be online most of the time, so you know he is okay. You feel yourself migrating into a familiar cycle of self-depreciation. You wonder what you did that caused him to walk away. Luckily due to experiencing this before, you know that relentless efforts to find out the problem will only hinder, so you choose, for the most part, to try and move on. You spend most of your time alone. You still check on your messages occasionally, you try not to log into his profile online, you try to let other things occupied you. You try to let others inside you. A doctor, a business owner, a different lawyer, but their conversation doesn’t fit in the right words. They cling loosely, grasping at something that isn’t there.
Time passes, he seems to have changed his job. He seems to like his new job, it seems like he has not thought of you ever. But you know better than that. You know that if someone wants to do something, they will, and if they don’t, they will not. You would give anything to know what made him stop wanting you.
One day you just stop texting him asking him how’s life. One day you just stop wishing he’s going to be the one.
You feel furious that he could be so casual when you spent every second thinking about him. You decide to cut him out of your life. You unfollow him on social networks. You delete those old conversations so you wouldn’t reread them. You delete his account. You stop wishing.
More times passes as life roll on. You drown your head into work, meet more new people, enter into the New Year again, you barely think about him. Being drown into time reminds you that there’s still other beautiful and interesting thing in life. It reminds you that one person can never be your only source of happiness.
You forget about him completely, until last night you drove pass the lane of his house. You stop for a moment, let out a laugh and keep driving.