You were my first love, I claim, because you lasted more than 6 months in my heart and still flashes through my head every now and then throughout the day. I guess it's this way because you were nothing compared to the other guys I knew. When we met, I didn't want to give in, but when I finally did it was like nothing I ever felt. We started casually, chatting on random topics that I've never shared to anyone so unknown before, and I'd wonder why would I ever open up to you.
Every time we were together it was hard to leave, having you is like an addiction, when we chat, I wanted more conversation, when we meet, I wanted more dates. And every time I wave goodbye I count the hours until we can meet again. I started to feel things I didn't think possible, like checking your social media, who you are talking to, who are your tags, who are your family members, who are your close friends. We were beautiful, I think, not perfect, but beautiful.
Then it ended.
I lost the conversation between you. I lost the dates of meeting you. And there was no reason left. I waited, and waited. I waited until I was numb. I waited even after all the false hopes and all the destruction. I waited after everyone would tell me how crazy I was and just to move on. I waited even after all the times I said I wouldn't wait anymore. I stuck around while I was rejecting dates, cause I know it's always unfair to go on dates when you can't even let go someone in your heart.
Sitting down and thinking about it, I could finally put into words all the reasons I did stick around. I waited for you because, even though you might not think so, you were someone worth waiting for. You were one of the nicest, most helpful and hardworking people I have ever met. I waited for you because I knew I would never feel this again with anyone else, and even if I did love again, I had already felt the greatest love I would find. But waiting for you was literally like putting my hand in fire, it was painful, but there's always that rushing sensation you get from a burn.
You were so beautiful and I wondered sometimes how something so beautiful could cause so much pain. You were the only person that I wanted to talk to in the morning when I woke up, at night when I went to sleep and in the middle of the day when I would go on my lunch break. You were the first person I wanted to talk to when something good or bad happened. When I was having fun, or travelling the world, you were the person I wished was there and the only person I wanted to share funny moments with.
You were my First Love, and I waited because something as strong as that deserved a happy ending. I would have done anything for you. But you'll wake up and realize you lost someone who waited. Don't worry, I moved on.
I MISS YOU - doesn't always mean I want you back, sometimes it only means you crossed my mind and I hope you're doing fine.