Adulthood has taught me a lot about depression, insomnia and heart breaks.
I've always thought that I'm on the fast track of moving forward, cause I completely skipped degree and jump start to work for the real experience. In life, we called that "University of Society"; not because I couldn't study or my parents could afford, I just felt like studying isn't the best road to crowd along. However, this journey of adulthood has been the toughest journey of my life, and I started to feel lonely and depressed day after day. Until 2013, I started to fall, every step I took I fell, every thing that I did, fail; and by the end of 2013, I realized I've come to a closer stage of depression.
My immune system starts to break down and little did I know that being able to fall asleep could be the hardest thing to do. The nights seems longer, the sky seems darker, the moon no longer shines by your window, the stars no longer blink; and every night you just look up to that dark empty space of your room feeling that everything is closing down to you and you just wants to break down.
You look for a different place, and even though you were depressed you look for an open window, you still look out for hope. But for every steps you take, you get your heart broken. You've given little pieces of your broken heart to people around you because you knew how dark it's to be in depression and to be alone, yet, you've the broken pieces hurt you over and over again. And you don't know what you can do. You're not filled with love. You're not filled with happiness. You're not filled with hope. You realized that adulthood has taught you about depression over and over again. You realized that the darkness is your best friend after all those sleepless nights. You realized that some pieces are not supposed to be put back together because after all what you'll get is to get hurt over and over again.
And there's nothing this world could do about it, because this is reality. And you'll have to live with the broken pieces.
My immune system starts to break down and little did I know that being able to fall asleep could be the hardest thing to do. The nights seems longer, the sky seems darker, the moon no longer shines by your window, the stars no longer blink; and every night you just look up to that dark empty space of your room feeling that everything is closing down to you and you just wants to break down.
You look for a different place, and even though you were depressed you look for an open window, you still look out for hope. But for every steps you take, you get your heart broken. You've given little pieces of your broken heart to people around you because you knew how dark it's to be in depression and to be alone, yet, you've the broken pieces hurt you over and over again. And you don't know what you can do. You're not filled with love. You're not filled with happiness. You're not filled with hope. You realized that adulthood has taught you about depression over and over again. You realized that the darkness is your best friend after all those sleepless nights. You realized that some pieces are not supposed to be put back together because after all what you'll get is to get hurt over and over again.
And there's nothing this world could do about it, because this is reality. And you'll have to live with the broken pieces.