I don't know where you are right now, probably at work in town or miles apart doing your routine job (?) Or maybe you're at home playing computer games. But whatever you are doing right now, don't come now. Not today, not tomorrow. My head is too full and my eyes are wandering off. I might still freak out when I see you. You can come when I'm in a crowd, happily looking at all people passing by. Come when I can already see beyond faces, when I can already recognize souls. Come when I don't pretend to be blind anymore.
Don't come now. You're not going to like me. You will not like how I seem to have negative perspective about things. But you can come when I have grown enough to understand that there's a "reason" for every reason. Come when I no longer bow my head when being confronted with pain. Come when I can already see flowers and butterflies for more than what they are. Come when I am no longer two-faced, when there're no more layers of masks in me.
Don't come now. You will not be happy to see me this way. And I don't want you to see me like this. You deserve more than my stories of despair. Come when I am ready to write a my happy memories for and about you. Come when I cry honest tears - ones that's shed because of you. Come when you see no more vagueness, fears and questions in my eyes. Come when I can already give you a notebook filled with your name, and maybe a phone gallery flooded with your pictures.
Don't come now. You will only hear me sing Someday by Britney Spears and all the other melancholy songs. And these songs aren't for you. Come when I can sing back that song when I first met you by Eason Chan. Come when I won't hesitate singing out load despite the very fact that I don't sing well. Come when I can tell you that song I put as my alarm clock fits to what my heart feels for you.
Don't come now. My brokenness will only hurt you. That even if you want to try to fix me, I won't let you. Come when I am no longer the shattered pieces lying on the floor. Come when I am already whole, undeterred by any chaos around. Come when there will only be soft edges, no sharp corners that will make you bleed. Come when I no longer hold on to something to keep me complete except for myself.
Don't come now. I won't be around. I am below the ground, behind the bushes, hiding in the dark, anywhere and nowhere at the same time. Come when I am already on a fixed road happily standing still because I know you will arrive at the exact time. Come when I am no longer hiding. Come when I can already welcome you with all sincerity. Come when I am ready to meet you.
I am willing to give you all the possible love when you finally come. But I have yet to find that love for myself. It might take long. But I will not worry about it. Because I want you to meet the 'Girl who took her time to heal completely', not the one that's forced, I want you to see me because I am letting you see me.
And you will. Someday. At the crossroad. Not because I am still freaking out. Not because of coincidence. I will meet you there because it's the right thing to do because it is how my story is written - along with yours.
Don't come now. You will not be happy to see me this way. And I don't want you to see me like this. You deserve more than my stories of despair. Come when I am ready to write a my happy memories for and about you. Come when I cry honest tears - ones that's shed because of you. Come when you see no more vagueness, fears and questions in my eyes. Come when I can already give you a notebook filled with your name, and maybe a phone gallery flooded with your pictures.
Don't come now. You will only hear me sing Someday by Britney Spears and all the other melancholy songs. And these songs aren't for you. Come when I can sing back that song when I first met you by Eason Chan. Come when I won't hesitate singing out load despite the very fact that I don't sing well. Come when I can tell you that song I put as my alarm clock fits to what my heart feels for you.
Don't come now. My brokenness will only hurt you. That even if you want to try to fix me, I won't let you. Come when I am no longer the shattered pieces lying on the floor. Come when I am already whole, undeterred by any chaos around. Come when there will only be soft edges, no sharp corners that will make you bleed. Come when I no longer hold on to something to keep me complete except for myself.
Don't come now. I won't be around. I am below the ground, behind the bushes, hiding in the dark, anywhere and nowhere at the same time. Come when I am already on a fixed road happily standing still because I know you will arrive at the exact time. Come when I am no longer hiding. Come when I can already welcome you with all sincerity. Come when I am ready to meet you.
I am willing to give you all the possible love when you finally come. But I have yet to find that love for myself. It might take long. But I will not worry about it. Because I want you to meet the 'Girl who took her time to heal completely', not the one that's forced, I want you to see me because I am letting you see me.
And you will. Someday. At the crossroad. Not because I am still freaking out. Not because of coincidence. I will meet you there because it's the right thing to do because it is how my story is written - along with yours.