Yes. I was in love, but not in the way that you are all thinking. I was in love in a completely different way. I was in love with the idea of him, the idea of us. I was in love with the guy that he has the potential to be. I was in love with the girl I was when I was with him. I will say that I am definitely seeing the past better than it was, but now I know why. I tried so hard to be the girl he wanted and I couldn't do that because we just ultimately want different things. If we are going by the books we are two people that should have never crossed paths the way we did. We are two very stubborn very bold people that clashed. If you haven’t noticed I'm not a “by the books” person. And I challenge everything I see wrong. The sense of loss I am feeling is yes, of course, the usual loss that you feel after a break up. In addition to that loss, though I am feeling defeated. I could have been what he needed if he had given me the chance. I know I could have. I was in love with what we could have been . My heart is broken from something that never was. My heart is broken because I was never given the chance, because I wasn't worth an explanation.