When life makes you happy, you never really care about what’s going to happen next. This is how I lived for the past few months. I never really cared, because I am too busy being happy and even on how I keep myself aware in taking those steps, I make sure I don’t fall deep again, just to ensure I don’t spend the reset of the time drowning in my own thoughts, still you came along.
You were a stranger to me once. We got to know each other better over time, and we got really close. You were there for me most of the time, (I just realized, because my journals were dated months back since I last pen down) and I got used to the idea of always having you around, to the point that it was never really fun without you anymore. Come to think of it, I should not feel this way at all. We never really had a title to begin with, and you never gave me a hint. I, on the other hand, gave all the hints I could manage. I guess it was just too overwhelming for me to actually like someone again. It was nice, but I knew it would not end up right.
I've only seen your pictures, and we all know how crazy it would be if we did have a relationship. But I still like you alot. Maybe it’s the idea of you I'm in love with. But it always felt like I have known you all my life. It feels like everything I've told myself in the past, to guard my heart and to stay away from feelings, just melted away when you came into my life. And it sucks because I'm terrified.
There’s just something about you that feel very warm to my heart. Now that you’re not around as much, it feels like I'm losing something. And all I can do is just watch it fall apart and let it go. You will always be important to me. It’s just time to open my hands and let go. Because I guess I knew that this was coming, I just never really said it out loud because deep inside me I secretly hope you are going to be different. I knew this is not going to work out one way or another.
The truth is... I never really lose you, because you were never really mine to begin with. You were there, but you were not really there for real. It felt like you were mine for a while, but you were never really mine. Maybe it just felt really good to have someone again, even just for a short time. At least, I know that you will never be someone I'm ever going to lose because you were never mine.
You were a stranger to me once. We got to know each other better over time, and we got really close. You were there for me most of the time, (I just realized, because my journals were dated months back since I last pen down) and I got used to the idea of always having you around, to the point that it was never really fun without you anymore. Come to think of it, I should not feel this way at all. We never really had a title to begin with, and you never gave me a hint. I, on the other hand, gave all the hints I could manage. I guess it was just too overwhelming for me to actually like someone again. It was nice, but I knew it would not end up right.
I've only seen your pictures, and we all know how crazy it would be if we did have a relationship. But I still like you alot. Maybe it’s the idea of you I'm in love with. But it always felt like I have known you all my life. It feels like everything I've told myself in the past, to guard my heart and to stay away from feelings, just melted away when you came into my life. And it sucks because I'm terrified.
There’s just something about you that feel very warm to my heart. Now that you’re not around as much, it feels like I'm losing something. And all I can do is just watch it fall apart and let it go. You will always be important to me. It’s just time to open my hands and let go. Because I guess I knew that this was coming, I just never really said it out loud because deep inside me I secretly hope you are going to be different. I knew this is not going to work out one way or another.
The truth is... I never really lose you, because you were never really mine to begin with. You were there, but you were not really there for real. It felt like you were mine for a while, but you were never really mine. Maybe it just felt really good to have someone again, even just for a short time. At least, I know that you will never be someone I'm ever going to lose because you were never mine.
