Trying is Killing Me

I’m tired of waiting for a new day to come.
I’m tired of people.
I’m tired of their lies.
I’m tired of pretending to be happy.
I’m tired of pretending to know what I’m doing.
I’m tired of my face.
I’m tired of my body.
I’m tired of being so imperfect.
I’M TIRED OF TRYING.

I’m tired of my efforts going unnoticed.
I’m tired of staying awake at night, thinking.
I’m tired of thinking.
I’m tired of hurting, of this heartache.
I’m tired of trying to figure this out.
I’m tired of being optimistic.
I’m tired of dreaming.
I’m tired of loving.
I’m tired of caring.
I’m tired of being selfless.
I’m tired of being awake.
I’m tired of looking at myself in the mirror, wanting to puke.
I’m tired of my skin, I wish I could peel it all off.
I’M TIRED OF TRYING.

I’m tired of being different.
I’m tired of being unaccepted.
I’m tired of not being good enough.
I’m tired of not being pretty enough.
I’m tired of not being talented enough.
I’m tired of not being funny enough.
I’m tired of not being smart enough.
I’m tired of being a nothing.
I’m tired of being somebody.
I’m tired of having a heart.
I’m tired of feeling so much.
I’m tired of trying to figure out what the point of all this is.
I’m tired of planning my future.
I’m tired of watching the world pass me by.
I’m tired of the crap music getting air play.
I’m tired of air pollution.
I’m tired of pretending to be okay with the state of the world.
I’m tired of crawling into my head & staying there.
I’M TIRED OF TRYING

I’m tired of letting people go because it’s the right thing to do.
I’m tired of holding on to the wrong things because I want it so badly.
I’m tired of going around in circles.
I’m tired of nothing happening when I do my best.
I’m tired of seeing no results when I give my all.
I’m tired of crying.
I’m tired of pretending to be okay.
I’m tired of pretending to feel healthy.
I’m tired of pretending I had a good time when I feel worse than I did before.
I’m tired of taking trips down memory lane and regretting it.
I’m tired of being in contact with people all the time.
I’m tired of being strong for everyone when I wish I could be held once.
I’m tired of being sensitive.
I’m tired of being angry.
I’M TIRED OF TRYING

I’m tired of making promises I can’t keep.
I’m tired of believing others’ promises they never keep.
I’m tired of people expecting me to be something more.
I’m tired of being seen as super weird.
I’m tired of being good at things.
I’m tired of swallowing my pride.
I’m tired of looking at the calendar.
I’m tired of never being warm enough.
I’m tired of hating to be touched.
I’m tired of planning.
I’m tired of not trusting anyone.
I’m tired of fearing I’ll never be able to love truly.
I’m tired of wishing I never existed in the first place.
I’m tired of praying.
I’m tired of hoping.
I’M TIRED OF TRYING.

I’m tired of keeping it together, for other people.
I’m tired of owning a body.
I’m tired of my soul taking so long to disown my body.
I’m tired of waiting...
I’m tired of waiting...
I’m tired of waiting...

I’m tired of waiting, for something or someone or some miracle to save me. I’m tired of being tired.