Recently, an old friend drop by for lunch with me and brought me to do some manicure. I told her that I had dinner and massage at this great place few weeks back, alone. She looked at me like I told her I was going to indulge in a sacrifice to Satan. She then proceeded to tell me that I could call her for dinner if I don't have someone to dinner with. But the thing here is, I don't need company to begin with! I love my alone time, it gives me space and time to be me.
Another time, I was telling my friends about how I want to travel alone to the States again at end of the year; once again, there was judgment but more than there was pity. "Don't travel alone. No one should have to do it. That is just sad", that's what she said. These instances forced me to ponder over questions that I have been troubled by for quite some time:WHY IS SPENDING TIME ALONE STILL A STIGMA? WHY ARE PEOPLE WHO LIKE DOING THINGS ALONE CONSIDERED LONELY?
The problem here is that spending time all by yourself is considered to be socially unacceptable. It is understandable, really. Over the centuries, we've accepted that man is a social animal. We need people around us for love and support. It is only after interacting and conversing with our fellow homo sapiens that we build friendships that last a lifetime and meet people who help us grow into the best version of ourselves. Yet we often underestimate how much we can do for ourselves.
There's a new Hong Kong drama about psychology that we're watching; and one of the thing that as human we think is absolutely abnormal is having imaginary human being to talk to. It could most probably be talking to yourself, your sub-conscious mind; for you to spend time alone to gather your thoughts and analyze them! Yet it baffles me how negatively spending time by yourself is perceived to be.
However, to me, going solo doesn't mean I am lonely or I lack friends. I've people who reacted to me when I say "I asked my friends to join me", and they reacted to me like "Oh, you do have friends? I thought you're one anti-social animal". In fact, I just feel I'm perfectly entitled to simply not be in the mood to entertain someone through an activity or indulge in small talk. Sometimes, I wish I could be like the people who appears on my News Feed, but after some time, I will reach a point where I start craving some "me" time. Because I find that spending time alone is the best thing for my soul.
And well, mostly it is not even as romantic as it sounds. At times, it's just me, sitting at a corner of a cafe with a cup of tea, reading a book. And if I'm completely comfortable with it, why does it make other people uncomfortable? Give some of your time to yourself! And I need more than just dining out.
Another time, I was telling my friends about how I want to travel alone to the States again at end of the year; once again, there was judgment but more than there was pity. "Don't travel alone. No one should have to do it. That is just sad", that's what she said. These instances forced me to ponder over questions that I have been troubled by for quite some time:WHY IS SPENDING TIME ALONE STILL A STIGMA? WHY ARE PEOPLE WHO LIKE DOING THINGS ALONE CONSIDERED LONELY?
The problem here is that spending time all by yourself is considered to be socially unacceptable. It is understandable, really. Over the centuries, we've accepted that man is a social animal. We need people around us for love and support. It is only after interacting and conversing with our fellow homo sapiens that we build friendships that last a lifetime and meet people who help us grow into the best version of ourselves. Yet we often underestimate how much we can do for ourselves.
There's a new Hong Kong drama about psychology that we're watching; and one of the thing that as human we think is absolutely abnormal is having imaginary human being to talk to. It could most probably be talking to yourself, your sub-conscious mind; for you to spend time alone to gather your thoughts and analyze them! Yet it baffles me how negatively spending time by yourself is perceived to be.
However, to me, going solo doesn't mean I am lonely or I lack friends. I've people who reacted to me when I say "I asked my friends to join me", and they reacted to me like "Oh, you do have friends? I thought you're one anti-social animal". In fact, I just feel I'm perfectly entitled to simply not be in the mood to entertain someone through an activity or indulge in small talk. Sometimes, I wish I could be like the people who appears on my News Feed, but after some time, I will reach a point where I start craving some "me" time. Because I find that spending time alone is the best thing for my soul.
And well, mostly it is not even as romantic as it sounds. At times, it's just me, sitting at a corner of a cafe with a cup of tea, reading a book. And if I'm completely comfortable with it, why does it make other people uncomfortable? Give some of your time to yourself! And I need more than just dining out.