On
most days you’re excited to make plans with me but I only know how to keep you
tucked away behind my forever busy schedule. You say my thoughts are mostly
negative thoughts but too cheerful as a person to be categorize as a pessimist.
You called me a realist; this is why you never really get an answer from me
always. Some days our story feels like a weight on my chest that won’t let me
breathe till I find myself many reasons to convince myself to open up to you. So when you try to make way into my heart,
my fingers still tremble to give you the keys.
I’m
not well versed in the intricacies of loves, all I’ve learnt about it has been
through heartbreak and disappointment so I’m
sorry, I know on most days it feels like we keep dancing between a platonic
friendship and love never quite sure where our feet will land. I can never
quite call you mine, but my dreams are still haunted by you and your eyes like
trapped sunlight. I keep hoping one day I would finally take the courage to
break those walls I’ve built from every mistake I made in the past.
I keep hoping one day I’ll learn to hold
your hand without it feeling like a free fall without a safety net, without my
brain calculating the ten thousand ways to explode, without my heart freaking
out. I’m learning to open up my heart,
and I hope you’d still be there when I finally open up myself.