Being
with you is getting harder everyday because although
I’m with you, I’m not with you. And the more time I spend with you, the
more I want to distant away. I’ve reached a stage where I just didn’t want to
think of any more excuses of why I am
busy. I think I prefer the stage where it’s just text messaging and Sunday
brunch. I don’t want anything deeper than that because my heart is holding me
for walking in further.
Being
alone with you doesn’t feel weird but it freaks me out. There are so many
things that goes through my head on a daily basis and if there ever comes a
thought that’s you, I will feel like my whole life is closing down on me and I
can’t breathe. I am not sure how we got here, why life puts you in the picture,
because the more you come closer to me, the more memories were triggered from
the past.
My
heart breaks a little over and again every time I see how happy a girl gets
when they brag about their boyfriend; because I have been trying hard to feel,
but I was not even close to happiness. Most of them have already build a life
together; and most importantly I see how intoxicate she’s when you both were
together, where I am here still trying to find the keys to my padlock heart on
why I should see you every weekend.
There’s
no denying that relationship requires two things – chemistry and timing. And we’ve
had the timing right but the chemistry doesn’t seems to be exploding the feel
for you. I think you found me at a time where I no longer open my heart to
anyone. I hope all those little memories that we had wouldn’t haunt you long to
move along.