I
recall on the moments on how happy I used to be when I receive a message from
you; but when you left me, the feeling was like it’s the end of my world. That
thought still lingers around me that I would never be happy again. At least not
the kind of happy I had when you occupy my mind. I couldn’t eat, or sleep or breathe because you were gone.
I
tried many ways to find myself to the light, but as much as I try, it just
doesn’t seem to work. I tried getting out of where I am, I tried getting into
new dates, I tried crying my heart out, yet everything just seems to be in
darkness and loneliness. One day, I just stopped trying, I just stopped trying
to get over you, I stopped trying to get an answers, I stopped trying to let me
feel again. And somewhere along the journey, the darkness turned a little bit
lighter.
I
started to live again, maybe it happened over a new year, maybe even a few new
years, but as much as I’ve been alive, I still did not feel truly happy. There
were relationships that I tried to be, but to be honest; there wasn’t anyone
that could make me feel like you. After a certain time, I figure out that I can
no longer feel, throughout all these years I was the only one that fought for
myself, and I don’t think I can ever let anyone in.
I
don’t think I will ever feel love again and have butterflies in my stomach like
how it used to be. I had a beautiful story, but also the one that ended my
heart to feel again. I move along, but I don’t think I will ever find the
strength to start all over again.