This
was the year I learned that I need to get back up because I can’t get lazy and
I can’t make temporary decisions anymore because I’m waiting for something else
to happen. This was the year I had to stop waiting. This was the year I learned
that I have to work on every little part of myself. This was the year I learned
that pain will never leave me alone but I have to learn how to smile. I have to
learn how to wake up and find something to look forward to. I have to learn how
to walk hand in hand with pain instead of trying to run away from it.
This was the year I learned that healing is
not a phase, it’s an ongoing process. It’s a work in progress. It’s something
you have to keep doing every day and every night because the pain might resurface
and you’ll make the same mistakes again. I’ll get heartbroken again. Someone will
disappoint me and I will fail at something I thought I was good at. I won’t
always get what I wished for and as long as I’m still alive and breathing, I’ll
have to figure out a way to make it – alone.
Nothing
major happened this year, nothing extraordinary but this was the year I learned
that I’m the only one who can heal myself. I’m the only one who can save
myself. I’m the only one who can make myself smile when things are going wrong
and maybe one day I’ll learn how to make them right, but for now, I’m learning
how to live with the wrongs, the mistakes, the disappointments because they won’t
just go away. It won’t magically disappear.