I often wonder what’s my role, what’s my
title, what’s my label and if our story would ever have another chapter. I often wonder if I’m the villain; the
one who hurt you with my broken pieces. The vindictive villain who would do
anything to make sure that you find yourself back as whole when I am still
bleeding. The villain who everyone wants you to get rid of.
Yet, sometimes I wonder if I’m the good
friend; the one who has feelings for you but can’t seem to open up to love. The
one who keeps trying to find the keys to my padlock heart but my feelings just
wouldn’t open up. I often wonder if I’m even in your story. Am I even that
important to have a role, even a secondary character, or am I just a passerby?
An extra? Or maybe I’m just a temporary. A part of someone else’s chapter. A part of a sentence about someone else.
I also couldn’t help but wish I could be
the one, the one who would make it till the end with someone, the one who
someone will fight and asked if I’m okay when I withdraw from the world. The
one who finally steals the heart and complete another love story, the one
everyone was rooting for, the one that everyone wanted you to end up with
because it would be so perfect. It would make everyone happy and it would make
you happy. I often wonder if you are going to be the one, the one that will
never leave.
Because I know we’ve been all of these
before; I’ve been the villain who broke your heart and that I couldn’t love you
the way you loved me. But I’ve also been trying, trying to open up myself even
when I didn’t want to, even when I had to put on that mask until I can go home
and hide in my shell, I always thought that I would learn to open up and love
with you by my side.
I think of the day when I’m ready to
love. I think of the day when I look back and realize that maybe I did truly
fell for you and that you had feelings for me too. I think of the day when I’m
no longer uncertain and I’m finally sure about us. I think of the day when I turn
you from a nobody to the one. I think of the day when I can finally learn to
open up, not to anybody, but to you. I think of the day I
become your happy ending because you’ve always been mine, you’ve always been
the one in my story.
But I know when the day come, you might
have already become someone else’s man.