It’s 10:20 PM and my phone rings, I walk
towards my phone and I saw a notification that I wasn’t expecting from. My
heart skipped a little because I’ve been thinking about it a lot for the past
few nights. I thought about the last time we texted, a New Year has arrived, I hesitated.
I hesitated for a second but I knew something should be wrong with his life, I could be wrong.
As we texted, I held on my own heart; I
am unsure if I’ve stitched back my broken pieces together. Life has been
crashing down on me since he left, yet I always try to find my pieces back and
stitch them back together, I’ve always been the strong one, even when I’m weak.
A thousand of thoughts flashes through my
mind throughout our conversation, I wonder how he has been, I wonder if he’s
alright, I wonder if he wanted someone to hug, or someone to give silly
comments over the things life gave him. I thought of ways I could help him, the
scenarios that played in my head, because I don’t want anyone to go through
depression like I do. I don’t want anyone to feel lonely or stuck when life
hits you with all the craps and nonsense.
But the truth is, I can’t figure out how
to make any of this sound okay. I still didn’t know why he chose to text me
again after a long period of time and I
hope I was wrong about how I feel.