I look back on 2017 and felt very
stressed out where I hated almost every inch that has happened throughout the
year. I felt like I’ve accomplished nothing throughout the last twelve months
and that 2017 was a complete waste of my time, I felt like I am pretty much
just walking zombies.
I didn’t manage to hold on to my
relationship, I didn’t reach half of the milestones that I was hoping to
complete and that I thought I might just be living in existential crisis. I
kept reminding myself that 2017 was not a failure, at least I managed to be
still alive and breathing after all of the bullshit this year has brought me. I
should be proud of myself for making it through, for surviving another 365
days! It takes strength.
I lose touch with friends that I thought
would stick by forever, I had falling outs with friends that I thought I could
trust. I lose myself to depression. There were days when I just couldn’t get
myself out of bed; there were other days when I dealt with mixed signals. But I
kept reminding myself that I am looking at things the wrong way.
I wouldn’t say I went through hell this
year, but it was still a long journey. I know the pain might have strengthened
me, it has helped me grow. It wasn’t a year of failure because I’ve learned
essential lessons this year. Now I know what kind of toxic people I should keep
far away. Now, I know how much bullshit I am able to handle on a daily basis.
Now, I know a little bit more about me and the way I want to live.
Now, the best part is that I can go into
a New Year, I can enter 2018 with the knowledge that I can conquer anything the
world is going to give me. Instead of going into the New Year feeling like a
failure, I am going to accept that I’m doing my best, trying my hardest. I’m
going to believe that this is the year I am going to accomplish everything my
heart wants; but I remind myself that it’s okay if I don’t achieve anything
either, as long as I make it into 2019 in one piece.