Why couldn’t my heart feel the love I
have been searching for all these time; like the time I try to meet him by the
journal every night to make me feel complete. Why do people believe the search
for love is the search for ourselves? When in reality, love is not about
looking to be solved.
I
can’t feel myself complete with someone presence. I can’t tell if I was
already whole before I met someone, but it’s been a long time that I felt an
absence of someone I never quite understood. I can’t feel the chunk of me that
belongs to someone else. I don’t want to
be someone else other half – the glue that holds me together – the one thing
that, without, I might fall completely apart. I don’t want to be the person
who is the answer, someone’s everything, the one I’ve needed.
As beautiful as it sounds to have someone
that completes me, I don’t want to be needed. I want to be desired in the sense
of happiness, I want to be wanted not because I fill in the emptiness, I don’t
want to be a solution to a problem. I want to be something, someone that is not
the reason for living, I don’t want to be the other half; I want to be
complete. I want to fall for a person who is already complete.