I get tired of being the man and the woman in my own life,
I don’t want to be my own hero. I’ve learn to master the skill on how to save
my own day, lift myself up, be my own best friend and sometimes my own cheerleader but I want to remember what it’s
like to have someone do that for me every once in a while.
I would never know what it is like to be supported, to have
the comfort of having a man to lean on, a man reminding me that I don’t have to
be strong and I don’t have to hold it in only to have my depression eating me
up. I break down, I’ve had those moments when I can no longer handle the shit
and everything else is breaking apart. I have days that I just simply can’t get
out of bed because my heart is too heavy, when I can’t think clearly anymore
because my minds are scattered and my thoughts are messed up. When everything I’ve
ever worked for is falling apart and when I feel like my strength is often a
curse, not a blessing.
I need someone to lead the way, to have life slow down so I
can recharge my battery to keep going. I need to feel like I’m a human being,
not just robots expected to always be fine and do things right and walk away
and stay positive. I feel drained, I get tired a lot of time because it isn’t
something I was born with, it was forcefully develop because of all the
hardships I had to face and all the challenges I had to overcome and all the
heartbreaks I had to endure.
When the night falls, I wish I could turn back in time to
undo all these so that I could become the person I was before the world taught
me to become someone else, before the world taught me the art of being alone
because people leave and counting on them would only lead to disappointment.