I took on responsibility at a young age, I fast forward my
rebellious, teenage period and grow into an adult long before I should have
reached that point. I learn to take care of myself when there isn’t anyone to
rely on, when there isn’t anyone there to calm those tears. I realized I was in
charge of the direction, the drivers’ seat. I realized I am not going to get
anywhere by trusting others to carry the weight over my shoulder, because I’d
been disappointed too many times.
I wouldn’t say I am wise beyond my age, but I age from all
the responsibilities thrown over my face. I had to figure out how to care for
myself, I had to deal with problems on my own, I had to make money and find my
own way. I went through the darkest depression, periods of wanting to give up,
despite of all these, I continued on. I try to held onto hope that things would
get better even when no one is there to reassure me.
I knew that the only person I could fully trust is myself,
which is why I isolate myself from anyone who tries to come near to my life. I
do not need anyone else to pay my bills and I definitely got over the period
where happiness doesn’t come with two people. I have strong work ethics and big
dreams because I learned that it’s better to focus on something I could have
control over than to chase after people who would eventually walk away in the
end.
I have learned to be comfortably alone, and I am an old soul. My friends called me grandma, and I am always the person left
behind because I was never that high to be part of a party. But one thing for
sure is I would never stop moving forward and I would continue to runaway or
push away for anyone who tries to come too close.