I believe that life itself is a melodramatic analysis. I
have a hard time relaxing, so when I find myself with a few moments to spare,
it will start to raise every possible scenario in my mind. This overthinking
stigma is the main reason why I find it hard to trust people. To me, having someone
in my life seems so out of reach. I
believe it’s easier to see the bad in people, rather than the good. This way, I
would not have to raise my expectations, hopes and beliefs.
I want to know everything, I had always believe that
knowledge is power. Knowledge is the superpower that shields me from the world.
I will think through every little detail whether or not it seems relevant. I
will make mental list in my brain to settle down for the day, and the things I
need to be in control of. I hate the
unknown. But I knew that I wasn’t always an overthinker, I have suffered through pain and heartbreak
that made me weaker, that made me
overthink.
It’s hard to fall asleep at night with a million thoughts
racing in my head. My life is like one epic attempt to decode and analyze the
people and things around me. I guess I will never stop overthinking, it’s just
the way my brain work after going through all these shit.