But I don’t want to hurt this person either. I don’t want
to jump into new relationships before I am fully ready and end up dragging a
big baggage behind me. I don’t want to blame this new person for the mistakes I
done on the previous relationships. I don’t want to take my frustration out on
this person because he doesn’t deserve my wrath. This person deserves love and
affection and I’m sure I am unable to give that all to him. At
least not right now, not when I am not ready.
Even those who had crushes on me has let go and moved on
into new relationships already, and I kept telling myself that I should do the
same too. I should learn to let go and
open up my heart to feel again. But I still have my heart fully guarded, my
trust not fully open, and my commitment not ready.
It sucks to have someone trying to win over me at such a bad timing. I feel like, no matter what decision I end up making, it will be a wrong one.