Wrong Timing has been my excuse

Timing has always been the main reason and excuse I gave myself each time a relationships end. I use it all the time and I hear it all the time but what exactly is the right timing? I’ve never lived a time when everything just perfectly falls into place, when everything was easy and smooth, when my life is ready for a love story.

Timing has never worked the way I wanted; it’s always messy, imperfect and inconsistent. I admit that most of the time I used timing when I am not sure of my feelings or when I don’t want to take someone else on the journey with me and ended dropping them in the middle of the story. I used timing when I’m scared to confront myself that having feelings and letting someone else in or let them see what I’ve been trying to hide from the world.

I am guilty for not taking the effort to make it right when I told them the timing is wrong. Because all I could ever think of right now is that it’s hard and I don’t want to try again, I don’t want to go over feelings all over again. I am guilty for giving up before even trying. I learned that there’s no such thing as wrong timing, just wrong people like me who doesn’t want to make it right.