I feel a-lot. I have depths within me,
an ocean for a heart and sometimes I fall for people who are too afriad to
swim. I give and I give and I give. I
never know how to stop myself from pouring into those who ask for my attention
and help. Most of the times, there’s a tender ache within my unhinged chest
when I start to wonder if someone will ever treat me so well that makes me want
to stay a little longer.
I always wonder if
there would come a time where someone would asks how I am doing, how I am
surviving, how I am coping with life, how I am healing, if I am happy? People
say that the person who smiles the biggest holds the biggest hurt, the person
who encourages everyone around them needs to be told that they’re appreciated,
that we matter. However, I am neither, I don’t hold the biggest smile nor I
encourage everyone around me.
Above all else, I still
have to remind myself that I don’t always have to be strong, that I don’t
always have to be the fixer. I don’t always have to be the one that save
myself.