I’ve learned how to turn off the part of me that reaches for hugs and
gives unexpected compliments. I can come across as cold even if something
sparks my interest a little. I don’t detach easily but I assume people will
grow bored of me so I prepare myself for the worst. I tell myself that it’s
always nice to meet different kind of people from all walk of life, but the
truth is no one ever stays that long.
I have a shit-ton of baggage that I wouldn’t open up to anyone. I claim
that I am not open to small-talk but the truth is no one is actually interested
in the small little boring details of my life. I am a skeptic. I am cynical. I don’t believe in love at first
sight and I am the kind of person who thinks romance movies are not realistic
and too fairytale. Sometimes I act like nothing bothers me but I am soft on the
inside. I take things personally, if you come close to my heart I will shut
down my world completely and wouldn’t give anyone a chance to explain.
I am a mistake because I am going to hurt everyone that come close
eventually. I will accidentally say the wrong thing or act the wrong way. I
will go places without even thinking about inviting you and put the dates
behind my unimportant schedules. I get
scared easily, I will grow afraid that you might be the best thing that happened
to me but I might somehow ruined them. I will run away or accidentally hurt you
because I am afraid of being hurt.