But I cannot fall for you... Cliche as it may sound, everything
is great. You are the introvert I am looking for, you’re the one who has had
experienced so much about life that you might understood many things behind the
feelings I’ve hidden. Fairly, I thought you were the person I was waiting for;
you were the person I wanted to treasure and hold onto. But my mind doesn’t
felt this way, it reminded me of the broken pieces that I still held in me and
that I still had a chapter that has yet to close.
I know I can still reply on your text messages, crap all the nonsense
and make you happy for the time-being; but one thing is for sure; I still can’t love. My heart did beat for a second,
but the fear was more than anything that I’ve built up walls and withdraw back
into my shell. This year I’ve learned to stay in the state of stability,
the feeling of relying on myself in every aspect makes me feel secure that no
one could walk in and take them away. And I want to stay this way for a while.
I couldn’t deny that you stood out from the rest of the dates I’ve been
trying to go out with over the past 3 years. I want to fall for you but each
time I convince myself to give my heart
another chance, my entire body would shake and it felt like it’s just gonna
break apart anytime. I’ve already broken one person before that and I can’t be
selfish to break another heart! And I cannot keep breaking something then apologize.