On some nights, I just sit by the
window, tight in the chest, feeling lost and unsure where to look for
direction. I spent too long denying my own feelings. I never particularly set
out to be this kind of woman, but life made me face my worst nightmares, I had
to learn to be on my own because no one was there for me through my struggles,
yet here I am, worn-out and lost, too damage and broken to even allowed someone
to be there for me.
I had always been known as the
infallible woman who seems to have the life together, who is able to do
anything and everything. When others look at me they see me as competent and
able, but my soul is exhausted. I
never set out my life trying to prove myself as a strong woman, and now, it’s me who has become pale and
worn out. I suppress my desires, thoughts and feel and I am cautious about
giving my problems to anyone. I see myself as a burden in everyone’s life.
But the truth is, I need someone who’s just a little bit stronger than
I am. I long to
be taken care of, not financially, but I long for a strong arm around my
shoulders, a soul that can hold me down, no matter the storm I endured that
day. I am exhausted.