𝓘𝓷 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓘 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽, 𝓘 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝔂𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓪𝓼𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓻𝔂.
It’s just wishing and hoping to feel
love once again, but at the back of my mind I’m thinking about the one that
left me in darkness and I’m questioning myself will I end up heartbroken all
over again when I stand at the crossroad. Broken
memories becomes a reality when I have thoughts I can’t even control. I
questioned myself over and over again that all I ever did was trigger that thought of wanting to love but all
the memories came back at once. All I
ever want for myself is a chance to love right.
I want to give someone my time and
attention; and I want to learn how to share my thoughts; my happiness and (hopefully)
my darkness. I want to learn how to open up my wounds to someone and not be
afraid that they would hurt it deeper. I want to share my life with someone
that only tried to be better and that they deserved the best out of me but I’m
still trying to get there. I’m still
trying to pick up the pieces.
But I don’t know why it’s the
constant pain that come and go each time I tries to open up my heart. It’s
those memories that I’ve kept at the back of my mind that reminds me of the
darkness I sat in for years. It’s the effort I have to take to walk out to the
light again and the energy I had to gather to get out of bed. Yet, I don’t know
why the past 3 days, those memories came flashing back to me leaving my heart
in pain that I don’t know if I should be standing at the crossroad. And I don’t want to hurt another soul.
