Maybe throwing away stuffs isn’t really about just disposing the un-necessities and dusting off the dirt under the beds. Maybe it’s about apologizing
to yourself for not loving yourself enough. Maybe it’s a wound that needed to
bleed out. Maybe it’s a question in the heart that haven’t got an answered.
Maybe it’s about throwing away all the emotions and thoughts and finally moved
on. Because no
matter how much surface work I did – no matter how high I climb the corporate
ladder, no matter how hard I try to keep myself in shape, no matter how
impressive feats I accomplished or incredible experiences I encounter; I am
never going to be able to let those experiences in fully until my hearts are
open and ready. And sometimes, in order to get to that place, I have to do a
deep clean.
I have to open myself up, clear the
dust out from the corners of my past and finally drag out all the filth I have
been shoving under the beds. I have to painfully part ways with the feelings
that no longer serve us and make room for the new – for the brighter and better
and purer. I have to clear out the hearts in entirely before I can allow the
seasons of my lives to keep changing.
And it has been winter inside of me
for too long!