I’ve not truly experience mutual
love. I convince myself all these while that this was good and that I do not
need to rely on another human being to make me happy. Yet when it comes to the
quietest night, I would stare out of the windows feeling lonely wondering why
am I so unlovable. I slap myself hard on my face thinking I am a failure to so
many things in life. I fail to open my heart at the right time, I fail as a
woman that I couldn’t be reliance enough for another human being.
I question on my self-worth. I sometimes
get panic that I am 30 yet do not have a significant other. I sometimes sit on
the floor in the middle of night anxiously wonder if I’m going to meet my soul
mate. But there’s an Atticus-Memory living
inside of my head reminding me that I don’t need anyone else to make me happy
but myself; that I do not have to live up to the labels this world has given. I
don’t need to rest my head on someone’s shoulder to be ok. I don’t need to hold
hands with someone to feel complete. And I take pride in being my own soul mate
and needing no one but myself.