I
will start to ignore all the text messages from the phone and stop accepting
plans that he tries to make. It’s like all the moments that we spend previously
laughing out loud, being comfortable with each day, it just stopped. Every cell
inside of me starts to push him away, like I never want to see him again, and I
questioned myself why did I put myself into this situation all-over-again! I start
to hate Valentine’s where the thought-of-me
triggers it all.
And
this is the week, the week where my depression starts to hit me again. And when
it happens, I just couldn’t find a solution to it. All I ever feel is very
sick, I feel hungry but I don’t have the appetite to eat, I don’t have the
energy to do anything and it just feels like I’m just dying on the couch
waiting for the storm to pass so I can get back to my normal lives. I struggle to understand why couldn’t I just
be normal like everyone else and happy all the time without the shadow of dark
haunting me. I wish I could be that perfect person you deserve but there
are many days that I just happen to be in battle against myself.