He was
not supposed to exist. I have my life plan to get out of this country and find
a new place, I never wanted to get myself attached with someone. The idea of
being attached with someone feels like a burden if I want to leave and I didn’t
want to get distracted from my life plan.
In
addition, I’ve ended relationships before they even begin, I thought I am someone who isn’t easily sidetracked by the things I
planned out to. I wanted to stay busy with work and really focus on myself
so that when the day come, I’m ready to be on my own and making my own living. I know that sometimes it might gets
excessive, that I never leave room for people in my schedule, especially to
those who shows an interest in me.
I
was never afraid that my office would burn down but I was afraid that I lose
sight of myself and my goals. When I finally put an end to the previous story,
I never knew there was another person walking into my life. I was conscious and
certain that he was never the one that was interested in me, which is why I
acted carefree. I never felt the burden over my shoulder over our conversations
and I thought I was just texting another stranger on the internet.
Then
there was a twist in the story over Valentines’ where the cupid decides to awakes
him and just a little over leap day everything changes over a moment of
admiring the sunset together. But even after all the dates and meals and movies
we catch, we never label our friendship and I was certain that I did not need
labels because then I’d have to answer to my heart.
Then
the flowers came in when I was least expecting, I don’t usually take surprises well, but here I am flatter with the
flowers he deliver to my doorstep. I wonder if all these is real, if he was
real, if everything I feel was real.
