And
indeed, for him, things were easier with him around, it’s easy to talk about
everything and nothing, it’s easy to find depth and meaning in our most random
conversation and I can still feel the same comfort and ease of sharing things
with him and it doesn’t feel like a thousand walls closing down on me. I find
myself looking for you when I’ve a good and bad day, you were the first thing
that cross my mind but I sometimes try to hold myself back.
I’m
afraid to grow attach with someone, I worry that my reality is too depress for
someone and that when I finally grew attached with someone and they decide to
leave, I would have to pick pieces of myself alone again. But I don’t want us to grow apart too, I try to balance my
conversation between my reality and the happiness
I plot in my life. I don’t want you to see me as a gloomy person. I don’t
want to be treated as someone who needed healing all the time, that healing is not the same thing as
loving. But I want to be heal too, so that I can find the courage to love
people again.
You
are my favorite chapter, and I hope we’re the chapter that led to each other and I hope
we are the reason why we believe in happy endings again. I hope we stay on the
same book and keep writing the rest of our story.