The beginning of a relationship
always comes in as the most exciting part, yet sometimes it terrifies me. I
always thought relationship brings in a little butterflies, some chemistry and
the right timing yet nobody would understand the new relationship anxiety.
I don’t want to be ruining things, I
don’t want to be saying the wrong things or giving the wrong message, because
really, it’s just my anxiety acting up to me and it’s keeping me up at night. On
most nights those thoughts will creep up to me in the late hours where I would question myself on the things I’ve
forgiven myself for. I just can’t seem to channel that right, to let go and
move on from my haunted memories.
But I’m really putting in a lot of
effort in not letting my mind take over my heart and as much I want you to know
that I’m worthy, I want to convince myself that I deserve the good things in life too. I want to fall in deeper
when you compliment me, about us, and I will get there. I just have to fight
through a few emotions and thoughts.
Even though I’ve not win this battle before, I know this time it’d be
worth fighting again.