I am starting to think if I am incapable of loving someone; I just can’t love anyone anymore
I thought all I ever need is some
time to fall in love, to go head over
heel over someone again. I thought time heals all wound but the closest I can
feel in my new relationship is comfortable
(?) And I wonder if comfortable is
even sufficient to sustain a relationship.
I compare the way I used to feel
about someone, I read the words I pen down in my journal six or seven years
back, and even after I knew I was losing this person I could feel the heartbeat
that was deeply in love in something. I was in love and nothing else mattered
to me, and I linger a little longer than usual even after it ended. Even though
it was a heartbroken post, but I could feel so much love on the younger me.
Throughout all these years I have
let go and move on with my life the way I should, but I never felt the way I
feel for you in anyone anymore. I felt
like my heart is just incapable of loving anymore; I just can’t express the
way I used to love because the closest I could define my new relationship is comfortable. I am trying so hard to find
the feeling of happiness and love that I once felt, but it just feels like once
it’s broken it will never be whole again.
I always thought all I ever need is
the right person to let me open up again, but after all the right one that
comes and go, I am starting to realize that maybe my heart is just incapable to love
someone again.