However, it isn’t that I take last
second plans well too. I need time to prepare for what I’m about to get myself
into. I need to look up directions, get myself into the right mindset. I never
agree to plans made at the last second because there’s never enough time to
prepare myself mentally. I wish my brain
worked differently. I wish even the simplest conversations weren’t such a
chore for me.
I would never know if I’d wake up
the next morning feeling stress out about the day and even if I don’t wake up
feeling that way, I worried that something will ruin a perfectly fine day out
of nowhere. I turn down tons of events, adventures and experiences because my
mind just couldn’t think straight. Some days, I can act carefree and funny.
Other days, I can barely make eye contact without wanting to run and hide. I
never know what to expect from myself. I
never know when anxiety is going to hit me next.