I know that feeling when you first
begin to fall for someone where you question about whether the heartbeat meant
anything. But falling in love is a
horrifying experience. Suddenly everything around you needed a change, you
needed a change of your responsibility to your other half, your daily routine,
your emotions and attention, everything
begins to stack over my shoulder.
But even when you thought it was a heartbeat, the feelings start to change when we
start labeling the friendship, I become more conscious of who he is as a
person; his likes and dislike, his dreams and beliefs, the way he talk and
think because now there’s a slight chance that I would have to spend the rest
of my lives with this person. Falling in
love is not a beautiful feeling anymore, it becomes a reality check and if
he’s someone I could open my heart to.
With reality kicking in, the giddy
laughs, the late night talks, and the warm cuddles they just don’t fit in well
so regularly. Falling in love doesn’t
means Happily Ever After; all the
late night talks is going to interrupt whatever that was suppose to get done,
it means insufficient sleep and inefficient brain energy the following day. I
want to believe this person that loves me was created by design for us, but the fairytale boyfriend should only
exist in the dream.
My friend told me after I told them I ended the relationship, they all goes nothing ever seems to bother you, I don’t
get it. Honestly, I knew it wasn’t
going to last, if you’re not in love, it’s easy to get over it. You’re not
heartbroken.