I miss having feelings! I miss the smile I used to have for receiving crappy messages. I miss
the warmth in my heart for having Good Morning texts. I miss the anticipation I
used to get before my date arrives. I miss the moment I miss someone the moment
we said goodbye. I miss having someone that makes my heart smile with just the
mere thought of him. I miss speaking so openly to someone without the thought
of holding me back. But more than
anything, I miss having someone to miss.
It isn’t that I never put myself
into a relationship, but I just never felt either of these anymore. I still got
pull a little close to someone chest, to cuddle on the couch but I never felt
the closeness after all. I still got the dates and the plans but I don’t get
the anticipation anymore. I still say goodbye each time, yet I felt relieve
instead of missing him. I distant myself away when I hear flattery messages
like I love you or I miss you.
I know that love shouldn’t be
treated out of convenience. But the harder I try, the more I just want to
distant myself from someone. The memories of love no longer linger in my head,
I have heal and move on from the past but I miss having someone to miss, I miss
having someone in my heart for the right feeling. I forgotten what it’s like to
fall in love, I forgotten what it is like to get tripped over and having
someone there to catch. And I haven’t fallen in a long while, I have learned to
pick myself up and keeping my feet on balance but I also wouldn’t mind feeling
again.
I miss having feelings. I hope I
could feel the warmth of the heart, the anticipation and the missing of someone
again.