My broken pieces are lying in the basement of my abandoned heart. No one lives there now, not even I. My heart has been a very dark place since, it isn’t that I do not want to allow anyone in, but really no one lives there now.
I guess this is why I stop feeling,
I open up to so many people in the past, I never kept anything to myself, I was
like an open book, easy to read and cheerful inside out, everything in life was
so hopeful. What a magical time. Showing every piece of me, learning to love
every piece of me, being happy with every single piece of me.
But then it happened. One day he
decided to ghost me, it’s okay I think,
we were probably dating each other too much. He had his own demons, his own
battles and darkness. It’s a twisted game, showing someone what darkness it.
Something so tempting about darkness that sucks you into it, it sucks out all
your energy, passion, hope, happiness and make you a broken pieces with sharp
edges.
So he left. He went to explore his
own life, and that’s okay. Little did I know I never learned to feel again
after that. It’s like after him everything is just numb. That’s why I have hid
myself so well and if anyone tries to come close to the story, the sharp edges
would hurt them. I cannot have those cracks opened ever again, it damaged me
too much. It changed me, good and bad. I am forever changed since he walked out
the door.
If you leave someone at least tell them why, because what’s more painful
than being abandoned is knowing you’re not worth an explanation.