“There’s an ‘Everything must go!’ emotional
liquidation feel to the end of your twenties, isn’t there? What will happen if
we turn thirty and we’re not ‘ready?’”
That’s exactly how I felt right now, when my late 20s hit and 30 is looming on the horizon there’s a very big push to get everything on track because it’s okay to be a mess in my twenties, it’s expected. But I don’t want to be 30 and a mess. That is how people will preface it. A friend of mine kept repeating to me, you won’t just live with your parents - you’ll be 30 and living with your parents, 30 and in a dead end job, or the very worst thing – 30 and single.
I never really felt that being 30 and still living with your parent is a problem but recently a number of friends are looking to find job opportunities outside of the city because they hope they could get out from home and not live with their parents. “Do you think it’s okay to be 40s and still living with your parents?” I barely even get over the fact that I’m stepping into thirties, so stop pressuring me with your questions.
I’ve been dating a number of guys not willing to commit in my twenties, I was scared. I went on dates after dates I didn’t care about because I wanted to be open and give someone a chance and have realistic expectations. But it was a waste of my time and a waste of the guy’s time because my heart was never in it. I was a late bloomer, I never knew I wasn’t ready for a forever relationship. I thought I would be engaged by 25, married by 26 and have children before 30…. What a cute dream.
The truth is I wanted to be financially secure instead, I wanted to have a home I was proud of, I wanted to be in the best physical and mental state of my life, so I let myself focus on that stuff. Little did I know that I have been pushing away dates once I sense someone wanting to label the relationship. What I wish someone would have told me is that reality doesn’t work this way, because as I grow older I attract better, more responsible guy who is both financially and emotionally stable.
In my late twenties when I start dating guys who are in their 30s, there’s less of a guessing game. And everyone is more confident or mature than we were in our early twenties, fresh out of school. There’s less drama, people are happier, more financially stable and there’s really no hanging in the middle. And I guess it’s okay to be a late bloomer, it’s okay to go at your own pace and the right guy will respect it. I found confident in my career and I hope I can find confident being in a relationship.