I’ll be honest. I’m good at dating. I’m good at the the casual conversation, the movie dates, the brunches or even the romantic dinner dates. But I need to know where this is going before someone start falling head over heel over me all over again. I need to know the purpose, the direction – because I cannot have anything to be begin with, especially commitment. I’ve been the villain too many times in someone else life’s story, and I’m retiring from it.
I am not holding on to past relationships, not anymore. But when I date, I’d like to know how their mind works, if they’re calm and patient, nervous and hesitant, or if you’re just a walking zombie dealing with life. I want to know what’s the type of person they are even though I would not bring the friendship to the next level, not anymore.
I still like to hear about things that would make someone laugh or cry, I always wanted to know how feelings really work. I want to know about people, the realistic part so that maybe I might accidentally learn to fall in love with another human being again. That’s why I’m good at dating, I let you have a glimpse of my thought but never really my past. People might not understand the dating world inside my head, but my casual dating habit has made me strange.
Maybe I’m
crazy, maybe I’m too much. But the truth behind all of these is that I’m the
girl that’s afraid to fall, afraid to let someone close to me again.