The Defining Decade

 

When you’re female, thirty and unmarried, being single becomes part of your personality. People around you starts making assumptions about you. That you might be weird, that you might not be able to settle down with another person or maybe I can’t find anyone who will date me. Especially when you’re at a capable stage with stable finance and successful career. 

If the topic of me being unmarried came up, which, somehow, it always did, I don't want to look like I am a weirdo. Instead, I make sarcastic jokes about being undomesticated and proud. Yet somehow, being single was a topic that everyone seemed to have an opinion about. A little 5-year old girl asked me once if the guy on my laptop wallpaper is my boyfriend, I shyly replied “I wish he was”. I spend most of my twenties living in between a fairytale world of guys who doesn’t give a shit about me.

My friends probably talk behind my back wondering why I am the weirdo who talks about relationship so openly yet stayed single since. Nobody has any idea why I am turning thirty in 2 weeks and still remain single. It wasn’t because I couldn’t get a date, or because I had weird characteristics or even look ugly. I was constantly keeping my options open but my heart close. Growing up, I took it for granted that I’d fall in love and get married, I met guys through my circle of friends, and even online dating but that’s about it. 

I dated rich guys and poor guys. I tried long-distance relationship, I let friends set me up on blind dates. I went out with a list of guys you could name. But even with my relationship status today, I don’t live with regrets, I developed rich friendships, I have spent these time on developing who I am today, building my career, helping out in charity, traveling the world. I have spend most of my time to read, get strong and dream. So when you ask me about my twenties, I have a whole load of great stories to share, and I am not shameful about it.