When you’re female, thirty and unmarried, being single becomes part of your personality. People around you starts making assumptions about you. That you might be weird, that you might not be able to settle down with another person or maybe I can’t find anyone who will date me. Especially when you’re at a capable stage with stable finance and successful career.
If the topic
of me being unmarried came up, which, somehow, it always did, I don't want to
look like I am a weirdo. Instead, I make sarcastic jokes about being
undomesticated and proud. Yet somehow, being single was a topic that everyone
seemed to have an opinion about. A little 5-year old girl asked me once if the
guy on my laptop wallpaper is my boyfriend, I shyly replied “I wish he was”. I spend most of my twenties living in
between a fairytale world of guys who doesn’t give a shit about me.
My friends probably talk behind my back wondering why I am the weirdo who talks about relationship so openly yet stayed single since. Nobody has any idea why I am turning thirty in 2 weeks and still remain single. It wasn’t because I couldn’t get a date, or because I had weird characteristics or even look ugly. I was constantly keeping my options open but my heart close. Growing up, I took it for granted that I’d fall in love and get married, I met guys through my circle of friends, and even online dating but that’s about it.
I dated rich
guys and poor guys. I tried long-distance relationship, I let friends set me up
on blind dates. I went out with a list of guys you could name. But even with my relationship status today, I don’t live
with regrets, I developed rich friendships, I have spent these time on
developing who I am today, building my career, helping out in charity, traveling
the world. I have spend most of my time to read, get strong and dream. So when
you ask me about my twenties, I have a whole load of great stories to share, and I am not shameful about it.