My twenties has been eventful, I have search, learn and grow throughout the decade, to find the strength to hold this journey and to understand that life is going to meet me with circumstances that will bury me deep within myself, with things that will hurt to acknowledge, with people who will fumble with the way I felt so deeply. But I also learn that life is going to meet me with opportunities that make my chest well with gratitude, with things that will make me want to live again, with people who will hold even the most damaged parts of who I am and kiss them softly, folding it back letting it a little less wounded, a little less broken than it was before.
I look back on my twenties and cringe while simultaneously wanting to hold on to my youth. Hitting this milestone birthday feels like life hits you, and I’m instantly supposed to transform into a better person. I know no one expects me to transform into a new person instantly, but I owe it to myself, that I don’t have to surrender myself to the person I was when I was navigating my anxiety, or my confusion or how lost I felt in this world. Still, I owe it to myself, to be better than who I was, to learn to be vulnerable and let it go knowing that I do not need to be in control all the time.
I try to immerse myself in every single thing possible, to be selfish with my time and all the aspects of me but I also understand that in life happiness isn’t always constant. Sometimes we might experience a bad day, a bad week, a bad month or even a bad year, but never a bad life. I want to give myself a pat over my shoulder, to tell myself I’m proud of who I’ve become today, to try with every inch of my patchwork soul, to care, to heal, to keep trying even on days when it’s hard to get out of bed. So here’s to my twenties, I know it’s with the ups and down that shape and grow me to who I am today but I still wish you could go on a little easier on me on the next decade.