Last year, I’ve got 1 cousin that got
engaged, 2 cousins that tie the knot, and 4 cousins who has and/or is going to
welcome a new life. There’re simply so many good news flooding around the
family despite the pandemic. Even though I couldn’t be there personally to
witness all these happily ever after, I could still feel the joy that’s been spread
around the family.
What a moment that hits me hard each
time someone moves on to the next stage of life. It just seems like everyone
has accomplished so much throughout their twenties, graduated, bought a house,
work a decent job and/or started their own business, travel the world, gotten
married, had children and the list go on!
Then I was gently reminded that my version of success is different from
everyone’s version of success. Even though I never made it to a single one
of the list, that doesn’t mean I have not accomplished anything. I’ve given
more than I take from the world, I’ve help more than I could give, and I’m
grateful for all that I’ve become because it was all the ups and down that
shape me to who I am today. I might be described as a storm, but if they were
to understood that there’s always a rainbow at end of every storm.
So this year I will learn not to be so hard on myself, for feeling guilty over the
mess I made in everyone’s lives. I will learn to focus on the positive in
life, the same way I reminded everyone that comes to me. There’s a little voice
whispering in me that I’ve given so much love – and it’s time to give myself
some love, too.