Sometimes life weathers me in
different ways. After all I am just trying to figure myself out, just trying to
mend the breaks in my soul, just trying to deal with what is heavy within me.
Sometimes I’m ready and another person is not. Sometimes the other person tries,
and I am not. Sometimes they pour themselves into me, yet I cannot contain all
that I am. Sometimes they fight and I surrender. Sometimes I choose to make
things work, and life decides that it cannot let my dreams come true. And
that is okay.
Because what I learned after surviving
a decade of adulthood is that if someone does not meet me where am I, I cannot keep
asking them to do so. If I cannot reciprocate their love, if I cannot give them
what they truly deserve, I have to let go before I become the villain, before I
turn to a raging storm. The heart is a vast and tender thing; I cannot keep forcing
it. And they have to understand that they cannot keep pouring love into a heart
that’s closed off. Human being cannot be fixed or saved; we can only heal by
ourselves.
And I know is hard to fathom that
thought of making someone walk away when they have done nothing wrong. I know
how hard it is to lay all that love down, to close the heart off. But I hope
from walking away, you will learn to pour all the love that you’ve been trying
to give away to yourself. I hope you open yourself up to new beginnings, to a
future unfolds in ways that don’t hurt or break you down, but rather build you
up and show you just how worthy you are of having your heart held. But you knew
from the very beginning I am not someone you can take a step forward with.